


Double Date at the Chug 'n Squeeze

by orphan_account



Category: The Adventure Zone (Podcast)
Genre: F/M, M/M, Post-Finale
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-08-02
Updated: 2017-08-02
Packaged: 2018-12-10 08:36:03
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,763
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11687985
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account
Summary: Taako and Kravitz need to have a discussion, and what better place to work out the details of the fate of an undead sister than the local casual wine-and-pottery joint?





	Double Date at the Chug 'n Squeeze

**Author's Note:**

> This *may* count as episode 68 spoilers, so if you're not caught up and you want to play it safe, maybe come back to this fic later. Otherwise, enjoy!

It’s no longer the end of the world. The apocalypse has been averted, and now Taako has some explaining to do. 

But it can wait- he and Kravitz agree on that. They both have things that need to be done, things that are a little more time-sensitive than coming to an accord over the lichdoms of Lup and Barry. Kravitz has- well, Kravitz has a lot of souls to deal with. So many confused and scared souls that met a horrific end at the hands of unseen monstrosities. And the amount of paperwork he’s going to have to do is unbelievable. 

Taako has a pretty long to-do list as well- he and Barry help Lup set up the pod in the Fantasy Costco. They have to find some of her DNA, and it takes a while, but finally, in an old book about Tesseralian arcana that was left untouched on the Starblaster, they find a strand of long, pink hair, and soon there’s a body growing in the cloudy green fluid. They do the same for Barry, using the pod he had grown his own body in so many times. Some of his blood got on his clothes when his physical form was killed by the Hunger, and it’s much easier to recover that than it was to get Lup’s hair.

“Oh shit,” Lup says, about a month in, “it _was_ me who dyed my hair pink, right? I mean, I think I did, but didn’t you dye yours, too?”

“Huh. You know, that’s a good question. It’s been a few decades. No, wait, it was for sure your hair, because you _know_ cha’boy didn’t read any books. Learning is for nerds.”

“Does… does it really matter? I mean, you two are twins, right?”

“Barold,” Lup says, affronted, “it’s the principle of the thing.”

“I dunno, I mean, you’d be getting the better end of the deal. I got all the looks and Lup got all the fire or whatever.”

Lup tries to punch at Taako’s shoulder, but her hand phases though him.

“Just know there’s a rain check on that. As soon as I’m corporeal again, I’m punching the shit out of your arm.”

“Not even gonna use a spell slot on that?” And they both crack up.

“Oh, man,” Lup wheezes, and wipes away a phantasmal tear, “that was some good shit, Taako. You got that Jenkins dude so good.”

“Hell yeah I did!”

Barry just looks on quietly, not sure what to contribute to a conversation he can’t follow.

“I’ll tell you about it sometime, babe. It’s fucking hysterical, you’ll love it.”

(Lup and Taako tell him about it over a dinner that only Taako can eat, and Barry does in fact love it.)

\---

It’s a while before Taako hears from Kravitz about their meeting, long enough for Lup and Barry to be back in their bodies. And they’ve talked- of _course_ they’ve talked, but this is the first time Kravitz brings up Lup. 

Taako is just lounging in a comfortable chair, lazily casting cantrips to pass the time, when his Stone of Farspeech crackles to life.

“Taako? Are you there?”

“Yeah, what’s up?”

“Do you have a minute?”

“I got all the minutes in the world, bubala. Lay it on me.”

“You know we still need to talk about your sister, right?”

“Mhm, go on.”

“I’d like her to be there for it. And her… boyfriend? Is that what he is? Him too.”

“Yeah, sounds reasonable. You free tomorrow night?”

“I’ll clear my schedule.” Taako can hear the smile in Kravitz’s voice. 

“Cool beans. Where do you wanna-“ He stops, midsentence, as a realization hits him like a bolt of lightning.

“Taako? Are you okay?”

“I’m fuckin’ peachy. You know what I just remembered I have a Fantasy Groupon for?”

“Uh-“

“That’s right, baby, we’re goin’ back to the Chug ‘n Squeeze!”

“Well,” and he laughs, “I suppose that’s as good a place as any.”

“Yeah, and I dunno about you but it went pretty fuckin’ well for Taako the last time we went.”

Kravitz laughs again. “Seven o’clock?”

“You know it.”

“Taako?”

“Yeah?”

“I love you.”

“Love you too, Krav.”

\--

It’s Merlot and Mug night at the Chug ‘n Squeeze, and they meet up at the Neverwinter location. The moon base has been… not quite abandoned, but there certainly aren’t any people working up there anymore, much less anyone on the Chug ‘n Squeeze staff. Somehow, though, the same instructor is there, and he eyes Taako suspiciously when he comes in with Lup and Barry. Taako waves cheerily back, and starts setting up his station. Lup and Barry choose wheels right next to his, and Lup dips her fingers into the slip bucket.

“Man,” she says, “it’s weird _feeling again_. Like, this stuff is pretty gross, right? But I can stick my hand in it and _feel_ it. Kinda fucked up.” Then she takes her fingers out and wipes one of them on Barry’s face, making him scrunch up his nose and bat her hand away.

“Can you two behave? We’re in public, don’t be gross.”

Lup sticks her tongue out at him just as Kravitz walks in. 

“Good evening, Taako, Lup, and… erm… I’m so sorry, I’m not sure I know your name?”

“Barry,” he says, “Barry J. Bluejeans.”

Kravitz squints his eyes and makes a face like he’s trying not to laugh, and Taako can see him biting the inside of his cheek. Such a gentleman.

“Pop a squat, homie,” he says, and leans over to kiss Kravitz when he sits down.

“What was that about being in public and not being gross?”

“Fuck off. You’re dating a dude with the last name Bluejeans.”

“I’m right here, Taako, you know that, right? Like, I’m right here.”

Taako pats Barry’s shoulder and gets clay on his shirt. “Nothing personal, my dude.”

Barry rolls his eyes- he’s pretty used to this after a century of it.

The class starts, and the instructor demonstrates first a basic cylinder, and then more complicated mug shapes. Barry is surprisingly good at throwing- he makes three mugs, all different shapes and sizes, and the instructor compliments him on his form. Taako is, of course, fucking amazing, but the instructor just eyes him over, waiting for him to make a bowl or a vase or some other non-theme-appropriate piece. Lup is alright- she has a little trouble centering the clay, but once she gets it, she makes an enormous mug the size of a bowl. Kravitz is… well, he’s doing his best, and Taako can’t fault him for that.

They’re about half an hour into the class before Kravitz looks up from his wobbly cup at Taako, Lup, and Barry.

“Here’s the deal. I’ve spoken with the Raven Queen, and she of course knows all about your… situation. And she is sympathetic, believe me. She- and everyone, every god and goddess and person and plant and animal and soul- we are all grateful for what you did. You saved life as we know it. And I’ll go ahead and say that neither of you need to worry about being dragged to the Eternal Stockade.”

“Well, I wasn’t really worried about that in the first pla- oof!“ Taako elbows Lup and shoots her a look. She shoots him a look right back, but doesn’t finish her thought.

“However, we over on the Astral Plane have already given you all quite a bit of leeway. And there are… concerns that allowing your group so much freedom vis-à-vis resurrection is setting a bad precedent for the work we do.

“But I have vouched for you, for all of you. Please don’t get me wrong, I’m on your side. Just know that you’re more or less on thin ice with the keepers of death, and the best thing you can do is just… not die anymore, essentially.”

“Yeah, I mean, going all lich-form is really kinda inconvenient,” Lup says, and Barry nods. “Like, I wouldn’t have been able to make this fucking masterpiece,” and she gestures to her mug that she just attached a beautiful curved handle to, “with my ghost hands. So yeah, dying is definitely not something I’m looking to do.”

“Right, well. I’m glad to hear that. And I guess the other thing that we want you to avoid is any more necromancy. Listen. I only have so much sway in the matter of your fate. If you two go and raise an undead army, I’m not sure I can talk my way out of that one. Will you promise me you’re not going to raise an undead army?”

Barry sticks out his hand to shake on it. “Consider it promised.”

“Yeah, same here. That doesn’t sound like it would be that much fun. I think we can pretty easily not do that.”

“That’s all I can ask. Well, not _all_ I can ask, but. Just… try to be good. Don’t break too many rules. Please.”

“Don’t worry, Krav,” Taako says, “I’ll keep these hooligans in line for you.”

The rest of the double date goes well- the Chug ‘n Squeeze uses special, temporally-enhanced clay that goes through the drying process in a matter of minutes once it’s done being worked with. The kiln works quickly, too, and by the end of the night, Taako, Kravitz, Lup, and Barry are leaving the building, a little bit drunk and carrying their new mugs. Lup and Barry split off to head back to their home, and Barry shakes Kravitz’s hand again, says it was nice to meet him.

“Hey, thanks for being cool,” Taako says, once his sister and her boyfriend have left.

“Well, it was moreso the Raven Queen being ‘cool’ but. You’re welcome.”

“You know she means the world to me.” The vulnerability in Taako’s voice is something Kravitz hasn’t heard in a while, and something he first heard in a different Chug ‘n Squeeze, not so long ago.

“I know,” he says quietly, and wraps an arm around Taako’s waist. 

They walk in silence to a park in the Blue Lake District, and enjoy the quiet tranquility of the park at night. Taako rests his head on Kravitz’s shoulder and breathes in his scent. He feels… safe. Happy. The world is saved, the Hunger is defeated, his sister is safe, the weather is nice, and he loves and is loved by Kravitz. They sit in silence for a long time, but it’s not uncomfortable. It’s the silence between two people who love each other and have things that can wait to be said.

**Author's Note:**

> This fic was just a cover for me to justify how Kravitz and Taako were able to fire and glaze their pieces in a single night in episode 50. The most inane fix-it fic known to man.
> 
> Thanks for reading! I cherish all of your comments.


End file.
